The art of survival of Softies in Industry today

Disclaimer:This act is performed by experts. Don't try to practise it in your office and get fired.

If you are an engineer,

When your boss calls for a meeting about important projects ahead and deadlines, Try to make proper sounds. Show your enthusiasm as go-getter or atleast pretend to be so.

When you skip some initial deadline on unimportant tasks, go and speak to your boss that you care a lot for his deadline and say that you couldn't meet this, but you will try to finish it within tonight.

Say to your boss that your work week is 7 days including saturday and sunday. Even if you don't work on weekends, those words will keep your boss happy. Isn't it?

If you don't know how to attack the problem, write a big mail to your boss listing down lot of points (in different colors) and say that you need this guy's support and that guy's support. When your boss running around to arrange for this meeting, you may get some idea to solve the problem.

When your boss assigns you some problem with working setup, try to invent and add new problems to the working project which you can fix. Tell him that you spend 10 hours in fixing this issue. Your boss will be happy and your original problem also remains untouched.

If you are working onsite, send big status reports mails to your boss. Try to quote the timeline of work schedule also like at 8, I came to office, at 9 I had coffee, at 10 I fixed this bug....Even if your boss didn't get good idea on status of the project, he will very happy.

If you are a manager,

When you assign a project to your team, speak like everyone of your team mates are big experts and this project will give them a big break in career.

Once you kickstart your project, try to convene more meetings that engineers get bored up and goof up their schedules.

Once engineers skips a deadline, call for more meeting, try to speak in more motivating way.

Treat team member with lavish dinners even if they meet simple deadlines. Never mind that final project result is still hanging in the air.

When client fires you for not meeting the deadline in project, write a poignant mail without letting down your team and send it to all team members too.

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