Live-ins
Hearing this word 'Live-in Relationship' often these days. It is first culture shock for me after moving to Bangalore. I am afterall one more pattikattan (in Visi's words, a Jakun) from the great mythical Indian culture. I see those people with an awe. Lets be practical in analysing this relationship. If all goes well and live-in relationship moves to wedding phase, then Ok. But if things didnt turn the way we want, the girl may suffer more than a guy from this relationship(means, the social respect for gal will get affected. Traditionally men respect were linked with career and power, so he escapes unhurt from these). Live-ins are common among western culture, which dont have much belief in wedlock and family life. But Indian culture is very much family centrered. Live-in will never ever fit in Indian culture.
Love was immoral act for my earlier generation. Now I call live-ins are immoral in this generation. Who knows? may be for next generation, these live-in relationships become a common happening. For sure, its a kinda culture shock for this Indian generation. Having taken a stance againt live-ins, if some of my fren goign to talk to me about their live-ins, I am sure I wont go for fight with them/advice them. Thats last thing I want to do. Lets flow with stream, Life may have a lot in store for us.
huuuhhh...you know what folks, I mulled into controversial argument with this blogpost. Here is supportive argument for Live-ins from my dear fren Barbie. Look at the comments of this blogpost for further discussion on this post.
Popcorn
Its ugadhi weekend here. Ugadhi is karnataka's new year. Happy Ugadhi folks! Why do festivals come, to give me a reason to travel back home. Hurray, I am using this long weekend to travel back to my home town (Mayiladuthurai, near tanjore, tamilnadu, India). I looooooooove my native place. Its a town in midst of no-where, kidding, it is serene town surrounded by villages with full of agrarian people. Especially the 16km stretch from my hometown to my native village, is a real bliss. Till horizon, you could see only green farms. The waves in the paddy field are such a lovely way to rejuvenate you.
Read more!
6 comments:
First, Happy New Year!
Second, being from the "western" culture, the live-in is to make sure the fundementals of a relationship will match up before making the final charge to marraige. I compare this to test driving a new automobile. I don't want the vehicle if the seat is uncomfortable and the road noise is too loud.
However, as we all know, this does not always work. A man and woman may be together in a live-in situation for 3 years and when then after 2 years of marraige, a divorse ensues.
The weddings that most often do NOT last here are the elopements (marrying after knowing each other a short time). Those relationships will often end within a year unless children enter into it, then it becomes much more complicated, but still tends to end.
RYC: I hate the politics involved in my job. I miss the technical work.
yes, its one of the few things that sounds good in concept. If i get a live in girl, most probably my mom will kill me. Unless you're very sure and responsible, dont ever get a live in with an opposite sex.
Have a nice weekend bro. Miss you.
@john. your answers shows the difference in thoughts of the two cultures. Indian culture stress on longevity of families. Here divorces are very less.
For western culture, live-ins are not bad and it gives a chance for people to explore each other. For indian culture, its highly immoral.
@gp.... Hola bro. Do you like the concept of live-ins? I dont feel so. Life is full of twists and turns, we got to live life as it comes. But live-ins offer an escape route in this family commitment. Gist of the marriage lies in the commitment. Liveins are not fair for Indian culture!
thank you for the weekend wishes. Hope you a lovely weekend too!
satu - I dont know what made u write this post. But as I am out of india for quite long and various parts of world i would share few things
1. Live-In relationships is nothing wrong as long as its intended for a long term relationship. This shud not be for fun
2. The divorces in western countries are equally bad as pulling the relationships in India for the sake of kid or society. Its more hell than being divorced.
3. Why only women has greater impact in live in realationship.Its actually men whatever i saw here. And above all the AIDS count is less in all these western countries though they are married many times, they have humpty relationships but atleast they are sure of hygeine and health concerns.
4. But in the name of culture and tradition our guys are digging their own grave.
And as u have commented that live in is not fair for Indian culture.. sorry to say..there are many good things in life which India can never adapt. I will write a post soon on the lacks of India and what makes this people's thinking more fuzzy.
@barbie. Live-ins are kinda of first culture shock for me after coming to bangalore. Thats one and only reason for this post.
I can understand the underlying truth and convinence in live-ins from your argument. But marriage is not for personal convinence in Indian culture, it is a bond of two families. Getting into marriage is itself a commitment on its own. Definitely my gal will not going to fit into my imagination, neither will i. But that doesnt mean, i will divorce her if i feel inconvient to live with her. Getting into family is next big phase of one's life. As we enter family bond, we chose to lead a great family, provide good environ for our kids to grow.
Hope i need not to tell you how much kids will suffer when they see their parents are fighting. If they feel so much painful for simple fights in family, how can they grow peacefully if the dunno their parents name. Live-ins are convinent in western world who dont give importance to family values. But Indians should know their culture and live-ins can never ever fit in this culture.
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