13 February, 2007

Essential traits for my girl

Again I woke up in middle of the night today. Jetlag sucks. I am sleeping and working in Indian timings:) The book I am reading off late is "Chicken soup for single's soul". I am not sure whether my observation about the book is right. It is a book that compiles and publishes motivational experiences of differnet people on a set of topics. Single soul book is about the life after breakup and how to enjoy being single again. Few essays are interesting, thats why I picked up the book from the office library today. And it left a lingering set of thoughts in mind. Now you know where I am upto.

This post is blabbering of a guy who woke up in middle of the night and with train of thoughts on being single again. I was thinking about the fluidity in my life. I am moving from to differnet places in every 20 months. I am more like a plant that grows in what-ever part of the world where it had been poured. I started my career in the city that I consider more as my home, shifted to God's own country, back to home city, then to IT capital of my country, now planning to move to land of dragons. I am moving towards an international career, daring to shift places that advances my career. I started processing for getting work permit for land of dreams too recently.

Well, What I consider as my career is itself a mix of fluidity. I wanted to become a space scientist in my country and I had become one too. Later quit that job because I couldn't pour my heart into it. I wanted to lead an illustrious career in embedded engineering domain before going on my own. This is what I am pursuing right now. Being single helps this kind of career with fluidity. If I want to get into a committed relationship, I wanted my girl to fit into a set of requirements. I would have laughed at the idea of having a set of filter parameters for my girl in the past. But life teaches you more as you grow. So now I have framed few parameters that are highly necessary for my girl.

Here is the list. I believe it is going to be a funny read. You are welcome to laugh at it. I am publishing this as I know my parents or my future soul mate won't read my blog. Certainly, I dont want them to laugh at me ;)

She should be a tamilian at heart. The common language between me and my girl has to be tamil that is my mother tongue. It's tough to even convey what are your likes and dislikes to a girl who don't share your language.

She should be willing to travel to lot of places. She should be willing to move along with me to different places, where I am moving for my career.

She should love travelling. She should love these home-on-wheel and home-on-always-packed-for-next-travel types.

She should be courageous to move into new places and start living there. Ofocurse I will be there with her. She don't have to be alone. I too feel a bit apprehensive about living alone in some foreign countries.

She should be willing to sacrifice her career for me. Well, this is an absolute male chauvinism. Don't throw brickbats at me for saying this. Alternatively she can frame a career that can flourish even if she resides in differnet part of the world.

She should have big materialistic dreams in life. I don't have one, other than creating a business house. So her desires should motivate me to earn more. I promise to achieve them too. I wont throw them for sure.

She shouldn't be nagging types girl, shouldn't have a big life-size-ego, should be able to smile back immediately after a fight (afterall people fight for difference of opinion and that is unavoidable). She should respect my emotions, ofocurse I will respect her feelings to the core. She shouldn't blame me for some issues, should go on her own and suggest a solution, in short not of problem-cribbing girl, but problem solving girl.

Enough, enough. This list is becoming fathomless. I should stop at this point. Basically a good girl with good attitude and willing to move around and enjoy different parts of world.

Read more!


n8ivwarrior said...

OK...I am laughing. You caught me. Just to regurjitate what I read, You want a woman who spends money faster than you can earn it, does whatever you say in that subserviant way, and will be happy as long as she has money...

We call those hookers in the US.

tulipspeaks said...

If I want to get into a committed relationship, I wanted my girl to fit into a set of requirements.

and i've read the requirement.

being a feminist i am, i certain would fume at this one.

reserving my comments.

have a nice day.


Nirek said...

hookers- that so rude man! Anyway happy I gave you a post to laugh at

dont reserve your brickbats dear. you can shoot them. I believe I kick started a controversy with this post

ranjhith said...

> She should have big materialistic dreams in life.

Any girl would fit this requirement.

Is thats all? The list is too little! >:O) Any futher requirements will be taken as a ChangeRequest & would require min of 5 years to deliver! Is that ok? >:OD

BTW, I guess, a blog shud be like a Wiki which can be edited by any. For in this case, if ur parents cud edit this & add a few points in the list. This wud be the coolest thing to happen. >:O) And your GF wud come & do some wiki vandalism. >:OP Ho superuu!! Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I have never every bothered to comment on any blog so far... but i think this is definitely worth commenting.

Let me assure you, I am not a feminist, but i am proud to say am an individual who believes in independant thinking and also be accountable for the decisions a person makes...

Btw, the set of requirements that you have written are expected quite naturally from a guy :) And i feel you are no exception...

I think yours is probably a "confused" mixture of traditional and modern woman... bascially having the cake and eating it too :) (this i hope is not a rude expression, but I used this to point out that you are looking for the best of both worlds, which is not a problem at all... but what i am surprised is that you have not realized that you are still having a lot of your thoughts in the so called conservative world)

I think i can help you summarize your requirements... your "ideal" partner should be "modern" with independant thinking, intelligent with problem solving attitude, leave you to live your life and let you explore the world, be part of it (of your joys and sorrows, success and your "learning experiences" - I do not like the word failure that much) like the ideal woman anyway..... but there is a very high chance she may not have the same privileges, as she has to be "traditional enough", as she has to pack her bags and follow you wherever irrespective of what she is upto.. (i mean she has to "sacrifice" her career... and her life anyway won't be anyway considered as important as your growth), who cares whether she may be as educated and ambitious and wants to follow her dreams as much as you... is it not :)

finally after all these list of requisites, sacrifices and being a super woman, comes the conclusion paragraph that she should be a good girl with good attitude, this is the point i do not understand...

so u still believe that even if the girl does not have all the qualities above, she is good still :) (well the question of becoming your partner can be dealt later) :)

This post is definitely according to me, not a controversy but to reflect on your own thoughts whether you are looking at a practical expectation.

This does not mean that you should choose a so called traditional girl "who nags you" but follows you all over the world (because you may start calling her a leech in your blog later) but also when you choose to have an independant woman, you need to be prepared for the challenges when you get her as a partner...

This i think may be the longest comment you may have received, the length, i think close to a blog post in itself :)

Anonymous said...

//This post is blabbering of a guy who woke up in middle of the night and ...//

hehehe i can see that buddy..let me make a milo milk for u, u drink and close ur eyes..i grntee u ll sleep...

Good nite ..sweet dreams
(altho its a bit late to say these, i did..to show there r ppl who think of u)

Nirek said...

Intha list is a live document. It is not under any configuration control. So don't go with the present version. Any rules may be changed without prior information and permission.

5 years to implement. Do you think a girl will ever change her character for my requirements in 5 years. if so, that is not bad timing anyways

Blog as WIKI is dangerous for me. My parents will have their own requirements list. I don't want to see that for sure, it may be mutually exclusive. Well, in that case, girl has to suffer some more

Nirek said...


nalla sonninga. I assume that u r a tamilian. Dunno. anyway I want your identity to reply more clearly for all your suggestions and questions.

I am thinking abt the modern girl with traditional characters requirement. I haven't thought much about her career. Will think and update the list when i get clear idea

Nirek said...

thanks for the big comment. It definitely need a blog post. Do post it in your blog with a link to my initial discussion. we can discuss it more in that too

Thanks dear. I know u r there to say "I care". I couldn't sleep becos of jetlag. Nothing like insomniac. So I will be back to normal state soon.

thanks for good night wishes. Neenga good night sonna neram, ennaku afternoon-ey thookam varuthu!

Jeevan said...

Your expectation on your future soul mate is not bad. It’s a normal wish by the guys. I wonder how u left the space scientist aim. I too read some where in blog side the Chicken soup book was good one. Enjoy the new place:)

Anonymous said...

Nirek, i should say i am kind of impressed with your reply, it is diplomatic :) There has been no mention of what you agree and what you don't :), but that is least important... I do not want you to be influenced by my views or opinions and according to me, and i do not think we should be discussing deeply in this personal space of yours...

As they say marriage is all about compromise, but believe me, i do not believe in that... :) Compromise is something i think you do of compulsion but when you say you expect your partner to "support" you, she should be doing it willingly... And for an individualist / independant woman to "support" and not "compromise", it is essential you think for the other side too before making a decision :)

These are things that can't be explained in theory, and it is not math theorem :)

I am sure with your background you would be sensible enough to choose a good partner and you definitely seem to be a person who respects "love". Instead of listing your requisites, I think you should start meeting people and probably you "may happen" to find your right one...

well, that is if you think you do not want to go through the arranged marriage way... or if you think that is better, accept the person as she is, once you decide, after all she would have lived her years in her own way outside your preview :) and she could also have a million more expectations (sensible or impractical or both) :) that may make a lot of sense to her and probably may sound totally ridiculous to you... just like ur requisites, i find, have comments on both sides of the coin :D

Nirek said...

Neenga solarathu correct. I think I admitted abt these thoughts in my mind. Athanala neriya brickbats.

Space scientist pona poguthu. I didnt find it suitable for my career once after joining that

There are many book in the name of Chicken soup . Naan padikirathu for single's soul. they have a big series of books

Nirek said...


I want to know your identity before discussing more on my Yes and No for your arguments. Some name is sufficient, you dont have to reveal your actual name.

Thanks for the compliments. And I am happy that I wrote something which made you feel like commenting on the post

I will take the positive things in your arguments definitely. But will not let your views influence my decisions :)

Ramya said...

Now that's very few points compared to what the other men demand ! :D :D
Plus, this post could go straight to your matrimony registration! :D :D

Nirek said...


Those are valuable advices. I am taking it down. Love or arranged marriage??! god alone has answer for this. I don't have patience to fall in love again. We need to keep the door open- this is what I had observed over the years!

welcome here!
Less rules - did you say that? I am happy atlast one reader supported my thoughts. I dont want to put this into any matrimonial forums.

Anonymous said...

well, since i want to remain anonymous, why ask my identity :D
Is it so insecure to talk to an anonymous person? i am definitely not posting any comments on ur blog that would demean your opinions or hurt you... :)

And anyway, how can you be tired for falling in love :) and if that is true, why should you even think about the essential traits of a girl? finally, not to love her after she manages to fulfill all your "list of" requisites?? :D

very funny!!!
I like the way u address @anon... u can continue calling me the same!

Nirek said...

There is a big difference between love marriage and falling in love after marriage. I am tired of first way. Well, I will definitely love my girl after marriage.

yeah talking to an anonymous person isn't comfortable for me. Why do u want to be anonymous? You have an identity and that are not going to change. My replies to your question will be more perfect if you reveal your identity. Otherwise I will type only generalized polite replies. If you want some personalized reply, do speak with your identity

Vivek said...

Machan... happy SAD day da!!!

Nirek said...

Thanks bro.
Happy valentine's day to you!

Anonymous said...

hehehe that is thooya...;) see how powerful ;)

An Englishman said...

Looking at the list of dos and donts I wonder if this sort of list will ever be tolerated an english girl.
Anyway atleast you are clear about what u want. That is good.

Marutham said...

That is the best post !! ;)
Veetula ponnu pakraangala...
PLZ ask her to read this....who ever it is...
Its always to set things straight & ask for a yes or no....
You are very straight forward & that will make life easier for you- do not worry! :)

And....Definitely your girl MUST read this post!! :)
WIsh you luck in finsing the right girl & a live a happy life.... !!

Happy V'day! :) - this time a different post for this day!
PS: Read your story in GP Project & LOL- Super climax!! :D
Andha pakkam poi pakavey ilayo...;)

Marutham said...

####### Special Applause #########


Das said...

date chinese chicks and u better get over it

mystic rose said...

hey..so u are in china now?? cool!

thats kinda what i gathered from the two posts. sorry if im mistaken.

Nirek said...

you are super-girl. love you dear

Welcome here! I am happy that this nonsense post got so many new readers and their feedbacks.
This is more on hilarious side. Even indian girl wont accept these conditions.
just playing with my blog with nonsense topics like this

vanga, romba nalla alley kannum. Thanks for the compliments. Aiyo, I dont want my girl to read this. She will go crazy and run away. :)

Happy valentine's day dear! neenga enga ponniga with ur beau?! if you dont have beau, may god shower you with a great looking and kind guy who loves you ao much!

kandippa tamil ponnathan kalyanam pannipen. Vera language ellam othuvarathu! asaiya pondatti kitta koncha Tamil-a thavera vera ethavathu language othu varuma??!
chance illey
tamil is best

I read ur story in GPP. But I didnt leave the comments. Thanks for compliments on my story too

Chinese chicks are very cute man. I fallen in love with lot of good looking chinkies.
its crush at first sight

Yep, I came to china for a short business trip. Now I am on my way back to banglaore
happy valentine's day!

barbi said...

@ nirek

how do ppl call u? i m a first time visitor here. Nice blog u hav got. I also have a list of expectations in a gal. LL pen them down soon.

My mom says i ll hav to wait till 27 to get married.. six years to go. enough to search and find the right match?

travelling tooooooooo much?

Ghost Particle said...

i believe every guy has the right to choose what and whohe wants and according to his likings. Ur list is well written.

Robbie said...

wel pal, "Gud Luck" to u .. :) letz hope and pray u get ur dream partner :)) ..

Anonymous said...

Luv u 2 buddy...waiting for your next post.

Nirek said...

welcome here man!
My name is pronounced as
nee - ray - k. Hope its easy.

Gettin married at 21 is not a bad idea. why don't you try to convinence your mom to allow u do that??!

just kidding. anyways. dont mind. Do pen down your requirements for your girl. Who knows? may be your future prospective wife is seeing your blog

will visit your blog!

thanks bro. I know its quite normal, but all girls in this world wont accept these kind of nonsense posts.

hi dear.. its been really really long time I have seen you here. Hope you are kicking alive with full energy

Thanks for the wishes. Me too wish to meet her soon!

Nirek said...

Thanks dear. I will write my post soon. I read ur elam memories post. Semma inspiring. do write more.

Anonymous said...

yeap dfntly and u can read and tell me abt ur opinion :) its amazing to see how u guys (jeevz n u) feel after reading my posts..
and dnt get late, publosh ur next post soon.

Englishman said...

On second thought, your requirements probably make sense. Becos even in UK I have seen wives that are perfectly happy and content to follow the footsteps of their husbands. And the husbands love them.
Who is complaining as long both are happy.
So it is very much possible, in India you might find a wife that fits all these requirements or comes close.

Marutham said...

Hey nirek,
Everytime you give me some very touching blessings ... :)

//may god shower you with a great looking and kind guy who loves you ao much!//
I rembr ur previous ones too...one was "blesses to get a good job" :)

Thanku!! :)

Nirek said...

its my pleasure to wish you good!
when r u coming out of college? when r u planning to release ur book of short stories